Man of the House?
by animuBraids
Summary: A quick witty oneshot in which Ranka tries to settle a deal with his headstrong daughter as a payment to keep a roof above her head. Ya have ta review, so ...do it. I do not own OHSHC or characters


**This is just a oneshot inspired by a card I saw in a shop a few months ago….I know I'm supposed to be on a hiatus but…**

[…]

"Haaaruhii deeearrr~" The manly -yet feminine purr of Ryoji "Ranka" Fujioka shot like an arrow to his teenage daughter. "Welcome home d-dad" the young brunette still couldn't quite adjust to her father's cross-dressing antics, his cream ribbon blouse did _not_ match his small stubble, peeking out from his chin. Her father sad down cautiously, in an unnatural, delicate way, picked up a petite ceramic teacup full of his daily freshly brewed tea. "No peppermint remember?" Ranka fussed "The minty stuff does not mesh with tea," he held his cup out as Haruhi replaced it with a cup of oolong.

[…]

She went back to her corner with a (T.T;) look on her face. "Sooo, dearrr" he rolled the 'r' sound around his tounge like a cat "Tell me- how is your English tutoring going, I have yet to approve of your teacher," then he tossed his reddish-brown waves that tumbled out of his bandana sleekly as he said in poor English: "Dis is guud tee" he smirked "Quite accurate, eh?" The teen could only gape at her father's stupidity. "I am waiting for you to go to England's top university! So prepare your language!" Ranka raised one foot and lowered it onto the now shaking coffee table one hand on hip and the other pointing at his daughter, Haruhi laughed nervously as her father muttered about how 'Cowterd' **(A/N:Oxford...not cow-terd')**was a strange name. "Er…Dad…just so you know my 'tutor' is Tamaki-senpai." Her father who had just regained his posture spat out a mouthful of tea, "The French kid?!" He shook the teen's shoulders "The dim one?! My rival?! Your '_father_'?! The one wh-" His gaze turned quite stern. "He…didn't try anything…_funny_…did he?" Haruhi looked annoyed "I _told_ you dad, that time was just a coincidence an accident. I-we- fell…"

[…]

"Anyway!" Ryoji turned to his daughter "Don't trail me off subject like that next time! I didn't come to talk about your 'English practice' dear," Harihi opened her mouth. "But-" Her father held his hand up that said 'stay out of this' (he did it perfectly because he got it a lot at school dances and proms) "Since I am the man o-" Haruhi cut him off. "Dad, your more of a" she switched to English "_WO_man, a _SHE_male" The older Fujioka tapped his chin. "Is that like one of those drop-off lines like _'If you were a nosewax I'd pick you first'_?" Haruhi sighed "Dad, it's 'booger' and pick-up and also no it's not"

[…]

Ranka gave her the look again. "Since _I _–not you-am the man of the house" He started graciously "Everyday when I come home from work I will expect a freshly brewed cup of tea-not peppermint please- awaiting my glorious presence." The young teen waited, she already did that. "Next," he began "You can diddle away, but not before you replace this uncomfortable glass counter with a cushioned foot rest." Haruhi was silent.

"Then at around 5:25 you can come back and at exactly 5:29 you will have the television turned on channel 36 " Ranka, believing her motionlessness was a agreement to his deal, he continued his speech "At exactly 6:19 this show will end and you shall escort me to the dining table, which should have a hot meal just prepared."

He paused as he considered this "Preferably a 3-course dinner like Westerners," He giggled in an excited way as Haruhi stared with a still (T T;) face. "After dinner you shall rub my shoulders for a full 5 minutes or do the dishes, the order to do so is your choice dear." Ranka cleared his throat "Next you shall hand me the latest trending magazine or the newspaper while you run my bath. Medium hot, not too cold or too warm please." His grin widened. "And guess who will make me a meal in the morning while they massage my neck and back?" His daughter finally spoke with a short and to-the-point response.

"The funeral director."

[…]

**Haha, I think it's funny at least…..**

**PLEASE**** review! And I hope it's not too short!**


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